“I finished with a E powerchord and when I looked up the shopowner, Ray, just said “holy ****” and dropped his coffee mug.”
Sometimes wars are not fought with bombs and guns, but with guitars and amps and coffee mugs. Here our hero tells a tale of how he heroically vanquished his foe with a Van Halen squeal then “divebombed and found myself on the 20th fret on the b string, doing the fastest vibaro I’ve ever heard.”
Maybe it’s just me, but an E powerchord sounds sexy as fuck.
Guitar Hero part one | Guitar Hero part two | Guitar Hero part three | Guitar Hero part four
Stunning in it’s epic WTFness, “Help I burned my girlfriends cooter” went down in history on gamingforums as one of the most hilarious, talked about, thought about, parodied threads of all time.
“ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.”
Take your time and enjoy. The thread has been split into eight very long pieces. If you have a spare 30 minutes, I totally recommend experiencing “Help! I burned my girlfriends cooter”.
Cooter part one | Cooter part two | Cooter part three | Cooter part four
Cooter part five | Cooter part six | Cooter part seven | Cooter part eight
Ever been a regular on a forum and have come across an example of profound stupidity? Ever subscribed to a thread that left you stunned by the ineptitude of the participants? Ever witnessed the destruction of a noob by seasoned forum trolls? Ever been rendered speechless by a display of perfect inanity?
If you have answered yes to any of the above, then ForumTards is for you. Witness, in full technicolor glory, the best of the worst forum threads.
FORUMTARDS: Because where there’s forums there’s retards.
Flame War | reTard | 
February 5, 2010 23:09 | 
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