EliteSniperKING

AKA: Anger management just makes me wanna kill people on the way out.

Not just a Sniper, but an Elite Sniper and a King to boot! EliteSniperKING is the coolest of the cool. Here on, of all things, a gaming forum, he waxes lyrical about how to get a 10 girlfriend. At first I wasn’t sure if he meant how to get ten girlfriends, but upon a further read he means a 10 out of 10 girlfriend. That one-of-a-kind perfect-in-every-way 100% the best of the best of the best girlfriend.

Well guys, it appears such a woman exists, and EliteSniperKING will show you how to get one too!

Point one, be a convicted felon. Be Gangsta! Because women (perfect 10 women) only go for convicted criminals. Get out there, buy a gun, rob a store and bag yourself a hottie. It’s the new mantra for 2010.

How to be cool according to EliteSniperKING:
1.) Get in shape. Round is a shape.
2.) blow your nose. Girls hate snot.
3.) Get some new clothes. Because what you’re wearing now (even though I can’t see you) is so last season.
4.) Get a low post count. 6000 won’t impress, 443 will. See guys, size isn’t every thing after all.
5.) Learn to talk to real people. Get off your xbox 360, stop playing every IW game, stop performing sex acts in aeroplanes on videogames (on Veteran difficulty no less), and get off forums.

6.) Don’t give a fuck about anything. But it’s okay to cry about a $30 dollar video game. That’s badass.
7.) Be an asshole to everyone but the girl. Especially her parents, siblings, elderly relatives. Beat her kid brother, sodomise the family dog and she’ll love you for it.
8.) Be a badass. Cry like a girl about a broken game on a publicly accessed forum. That’s badass.
9.) Walk slower.
10.) Commit suicide. Maybe by walking slower when crossing the street.

11.) Call yourself EliteSniperKING.

Thank you, EliteSniperKING, for that lesson in cool. I shall now aspire to be more like you.

Badass EliteSniperKING wants his money back, part one.
Badass EliteSniperKING wants his money back, part two.
Badass EliteSniperKING wants his money back, part three and how to get a 10 girlfriend.

Source: infinityward.com/forum

Question: How old do you think EliteSniperKING is?

iPad induced RickRoll failure

Sometimes trying to be funny can backfire with spectacular consequences. Here the OP thought it’d be ‘a laugh’ to use the popularity of the iPad to RickRoll unsuspecting forum viewers.

RickRollFail. Source: StrategyInformer.

Top knotch poster

Because sometimes, being the resident Grammar/Spelling Nazi is too much fun.

You want HOW many?!

It’s a staple of any forum, but music forums in particular tend to attract the kind of user who is so swept up with their delusions of grandeur that their grip on reality starts to fade.

Our threadstarter here is firmly entrenched in that camp, as he decides to ask the members of this forum where he can find somewhere he can buy thirty thousand blank CD-Rs for his garage band’s album. The result was a thread that is still a running joke some six years later.

Delusional Guitar Hero part one | Delusional Guitar Hero part two
Delusional Guitar Hero part three | Delusional Guitar Hero part four
Delusional Guitar Hero part five | Delusional Guitar Hero part six
Delusional Guitar Hero part seven | Delusional Guitar Hero part eight
Delusional Guitar Hero part nine | Delusional Guitar Hero part ten

You don’t have to pay me to do this job

“This position is available to you for free, as long as you keep active and refer people.”

“This position is available to you for free.”

Wait, I don’t have to pay? Where do I sign up??

Remember, I’m just jibing. Source: adminextra.com.